Chicken Curry with Cashews

My whole life I've struggled with self-doubt. 

I've wasted so much time asking myself "Am I worthy?" of work and love and questioning over and over and over again if I am enough or capable or deserving. 

So much doubt. 

I don't know why. 

I don't know where doubt comes from. 

Fear, I guess. 

And specifically the fear of failure and pain. 

I don't doubt myself when I cook. 

Because there is something to measuring, there is something to learning how to knead bread, and follow a recipe-- that makes my doubt melt away. 

Because all you have to do is whatever comes next, and that is enough. 

That's all you can do. 

And if the recipe is bad, or you mess something up, fundamentally, it doesn't really matter. 

So I like taking risks in the kitchen. 

Because why not? 

Because thinking that I'm not capable of cooking something is stupid and only leaves me hungry. 

So I made my first ever curry, because surprisingly, I had all the right ingredients.  

And I made it and I liked it. 

And making it made me feel capable. Like I was enough. 

Of course, doubt comes back to me, all the time. 

It's a problem that all the curries in the world probably can't solve. 

But maybe. 

Maybe with each new recipe,  I'll keeping doubting a little less, until all the doubt is finally gone. 

I hope so. 

I love you. 

XOXOXO

m 

Chicken Curry with Cashews

from Gourmet Today by Ruth Reichl 

NB: Though the recipe calls for a cut-up whole chicken, you can use an equivalent amount of chicken parts or all thighs. 

1/2 stick (4 tablespoons) unsalted butter

2 medium onions, finely chopped

2 large garlic cloves, finely chopped

1 tablespoon finely chopped peeled fresh ginger

3 tablespoons curry powder

2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1/2 teaspoon cayenne

1 (3 1/2 to 4 pound) chicken, rinsed, patted dry, and cut into 10 serving pieces (breasts cut crosswise in half) 

1 (14 to 15 ounce) can diced tomatoes in juice

1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro 

3/4 cup cashews (toasted or raw) 

2/3 cup whole-milk yogurt 

garnish: chopped fresh cilantro

accompaniment: basmati or jasmine rice

Heat butter in a 5 to 6-quart wide heavy pot over moderately low heat until foam subsides. Add onions, garlic, and ginger and cook, stirring, until softened, about 5 minutes. Add curry powder, salt, cumin, and cayeene and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Add chicken and cook, stirring to coat, for 3 minutes. 

Add tomatoes with juice and cilantro and bring to a simmer; then cover and simmer gently, stirring occasionally, until chicken is cooked through, about 40 minutes. 

Just before serving, pulse cashews in a food processor or electric coffee/spice grinder until very finely ground (do not grind to a paste). Add to curry, along with yogurt, and simmer gently, uncovered, stirring, until sauce is thickened, about 5 minutes. 

Serve chicken over rice, sprinkled with cilantro.  

Deviled Eggs

A pointless story: my manager at the restaurant I work at was talking about wine, and he said to me, "Don't judge me for drinking rose." And I had to laugh to myself, because honestly, I know nothing about nothing, and I know especially nothing about wine, least of all rose, which I only know I like because it is pink, and I like basically everything that is pink. 





There is one thing that I know though. 


I know that I want to give you the truest thank you. 


How do you say the truest thank you?

This is a question that has been puzzling me for a while. 

Because you are so kind, and somehow you keep returning and reading about my pies and my dinners and my issues and my delights. 

I mean, 





WHAT? 

I don't even have the words. 

If I knew who you were, I would give a present. This present would be wrapped in the comics section of the newspaper, and tied with some kind of satiny ribbon. Because I believe in attractive presents. Though I actually give them mostly infrequently. 

You inspire me. 





And I am not just saying that. 

At the restaurant I work at they make these ridiculously divine looking deviled eggs with truffle oil whipped into the yolk part, but I've never actually gotten to eat one.  Which just kills me. 


I spend a lot of time thinking about those eggs. 





I actually made some deviled eggs the other day because I had such a craving, but the pictures I took of them were so decidedly unfortunate that I painted a picture of them instead. 


Beloveds, if I could, I would give you all the truffled deviled eggs of the world. But I can't. Because I don't know who you are. 


So I say you make them yourself. And you can pretend that they're from me, a symbol of my truest thank you. 


I'm going to say it one more time. 


Thank you. 


xoxo


Deviled Eggs
Gourmet 2002, via epicurious.com


Also, I have a THING for mustard, so I added more of it. A lot more. Also, I didn't really even follow the recipe. I just guesstimated the proportions. But I love you a lot. So I'm telling you, follow the recipe. If you want. You can also add truffle oil, if you have it and are feeling decadent. In fact, you can do whatever you want. 

• 6 large eggs
• 1/4 cup mayonnaise
• 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• 1/8 teaspoon cayenne

• Special equipment: a pastry bag fitted with 1/2-inch star tip (optional) <--- Totally did not do this 
• Garnishes: paprika; chopped fresh chives; whatever strikes your fancy 

Cover eggs with cold water by 1 1/2 inches in a 3-quart heavy saucepan and bring to a rolling boil, partially covered. Reduce heat to low and cook eggs, covered completely, 30 seconds. Remove from heat and let stand, covered, 15 minutes. Transfer eggs with a slotted spoon to a bowl of ice and cold water to stop cooking and let stand 5 minutes.

Peel eggs and halve lengthwise. Carefully remove yolks and mash in a bowl with a fork. Add mayonnaise, mustard, and cayenne and stir with fork until smooth, then season with salt and pepper. Fill pastry bag with yolk mixture and pipe into egg whites.

Pasta Primavera (again)

I can't remember the last time I made Pasta Primavera. But I remember that I had cooked it for my family and chopped all the vegetables myself in my home. And I remember that I ate most of the balsalmic tomato topping, because that is my favorite part. 


But times they are a changin'. 


On Sunday, I went home and my mother made this for me and my family. I did not make it. 
And I always used to make it. And we sat and ate it with some grilled chicken and white wine, except for my dad who had a Corona:

I keep having these little revelations that everything is so fucking transient, so you better enjoy everything as much as you can. And I'm changing too, all the time.  Which is a little bit crazy. 
Sometimes I think I know very much. 

But that is infrequent.

I am learning things all the time. 

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED

-It is good to make words your own.

-Only buy the utterly fabulous.

-Cigarettes are nasty.

-The most flattering gift you can give is your complete and full attention.

-Do not make assumptions. (HARD)

-"What are you saving for? For another time? There are no other times. There is only now. Right now." -George Balanchine

-Compliment honestly and frequently.

-It is okay to begin the day with chocolate.

-Love is so much bigger than I ever thought it was. It's bigger than clouds. It's more huge than sky. It goes beyond. Hearts are like galaxies within galaxies within constellations within universes. 

-Do not wash your hair every day. Even though it is sad looking on day 2.

-Never let them know.

-Academic snobbery exists and it is noxious.

-Make a list.

-Ask for what you want and risk extreme embarrassment, because sometimes, despite the extreme risk and embarrassment, you actually get what you want. And it's pretty great.

-Pasta Primavera was delicious, is delicious and always will be delicious. 

And that's about it. I really don't know much more than that





xoxo

Pasta Primavera

from The Gourmet Cookbook

This recipe is a little complicated, but completely worth the effort. Also, this is the second time this recipe has appeared on the blog, which means that it's really, really, really good. The previous post about Pasta Primavera is here.

1 ounce dried morel mushrooms

1 1/2 cups warm water

1/2 pound asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1 inch pieces

1/4 green beans, cut into 1 inch pieces

1 cup frozen baby peas, thawed

4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

2 teaspoons minced garlic

rounded 1/2 teasoon red pepper flakes

salt and freshly ground black pepper

1 1/2 pints tomatoes

1 tablespoon balsalmic vinegar

3 tablespoons water

1 pound spaghettini

1/2 stick (4 tablespoons) butter

2/3 cup heavy cream

1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest

1 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano (about 2 ounces)

1/4 cup finely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

1/4 cup finely chopped fresh basil

1/3 cup pine nuts, lightly toasted

Prepare the vegetables:

Soak morels in warm water in a small bowl for 30 minutes.

Lift mushrooms out of water and squeeze excess liquid back into bowl. Pour soaking liquid through a sieve lined witha dampened paper towel into a small bowl: reserve. Rinse throughly to remove grit, then squeeze dry. Cut off and discard any tough stems. Halve morels.

Add asparagus and beans to a 6 to 8 quart pot of boiling salted water, and cook, uncovered for 3 minutes. Add peas and cook until beans and asparagus and just tender, 1 to 2 minutes more. Immediately transfer with a slotted spoon to a large bowl of ice water to stop the cooking, (or simply rise with cold water in a colander), drain.

Heat 2 tablespoons oil in a 10 to 12 inch heavy skillet over moderately low heat. Add 1 teaspoon garlic and rounded 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes and cook, stirring until garlic is fragrant, about 1 minute. Add drained vegetables and salt and pepper to taste and cook, stirring for 2 minutes. Transfer to a bowl.

Cook the tomatos:

Cut half of tomatoes into quarters and halve remainder lenghtwise, keeping quarters and halves separate> Heat remaining 2 tablespoons oil in same skillet over moderately low heat. Add remaining 1 teaspoon garlic and remainging rounded 1/4 red pepper flakes and cook, stirring, just until garlic is fragrant, about 1 minute. Add quartered tomatoes, with salt and ppepper to taste and simmer, stirring occasionally, until tomatoes are softened, about 3 minutes. Add halved tomatoes, vinegar and water and simmer, stirring occasionally, until sauce is thickened and halved tomatoes are softened, 3 to 4 minutes. Remove from heat and keep warm, covered.

Cook the spaghettini:

Return pot of water to a boil and cook spgahettinini until al dente; drain in a colander.

Immediately add butter, cream, zest and morels to (empty) pasta pot, bring to a simmer and simmer gently, uncovered, for 2 minutes. Stir in cheese, then add pasta, tossing to coat and adding as much of reserved morel soaking liquid as necessary (1/2 to 2/3 cup) to keep pasta well coated. Add green vegetables, parsley, basil, pine nuts, and salt and pepper to taste, toss gently to combine.

Serve pasta topped with tomatoes and if desired more Parmigiano-Reggino shavings.

Pasta with Bolognese Sauce

I want to tell you something.
You don't celebrate you enough.
I want to applaud you for your acts of ordinary bravery. For reaching out to someone. For reading a book. For sleeping. For doodling. For completing the crossword. For going for a walk. For trying to make a new friend. For belting along to the radio while you're driving alone. For clearing your clutter. For writing a letter. For giving yourself a break. For making a goal. 
I want to give you a big hug and warm meal, for being YOU.
Way to go!


To be more specific, I want to make you this meal:





I want to make you the most comfortable, cozy meal in the world,


Pasta with Bolognese Sauce. 


That's just how much I love you. Really truly. 


It will make your soul sing cozy songs. 


Not kidding. 





Pasta with Bolognese Sauce
from The Gourmet Cookbook by Ruth Reichl


2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons butter
1 large onion, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
2 carrots, finely chopped
2 celery ribs, finely chopped
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 pound ground beef, pork, veal or a combination of the three (I used beef)
1 cup whole milk
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
1 cup dry white wine
1 (28 ounce) can tomatoes, diced or whole or whatever
1 pound dried pasta (I like fettuccine)


Heat oil and butter in a 6 to 8 quart heavy pot over moderately high heat until foam subsides. Add onion, garlic, carrots, and celery and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Stir in tomato paste and cook for 1 minute. Add meat and cook, stirring until meat is no longer pink, about 4 minutes. Add milk, salt, pepper, nutmeg and cook, stirring until most of milk has evaporated, about 8 minutes. Add wine and cook, stirring occasionally, until all liquid has evaporated, about 8 minutes. 
Coarsely puree tomatoes, with their juice, in a blender or food processor. Stir tomatoes into pot. Cook sauce at a bare simmer, uncovered, stirring occasionally, for about 1 1/4 hours (sauce will thicken). Season with salt and pepper. 
When sauce is almost done, cook pasta in a 6 to 8 ounce quart pot of boiling salted water (1 tablespoon salt per every four quarts water, not to be specific or anything) until al dente; drain. 
Immediately toss pasta with sauce in a large bowl. Serve with cheese. 

Go-to Chocolate Cake

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? [Pointing both thumbs at herself] This moi.

-Tina Fey, from 30 Rock

I know exactly how she feels.

I also speak limited French, have two thumbs, and haven't cried today.

It's been a good day.

And speaking of good days, I AM GRADUATED. I AM DONE. WITH. MY. HIGHSCHOOl. EDUCATION.

And that is very, very sweet.

I baked a chocolate cake for the occasion but didn't take a photo. Which is a pity, because it was the best chocolate cake I've ever made, due to the incredible frosting. I've gotten weird about frosting. I want fluffy mountains of gently sweetened chocolate on my chocolate cakes. Not too rich buttercream, not heavy ganache. I want plain jane, honest to goodness, really simple, no fuss, no egg white, simple as can be, workaday, delicious, as-low-maintenance-as short-hair-frosting.

And this frosting is all of the above. I am in love with this frosting. And this cake. It is bliss on a fork. It is my new go-to chocolate cake recipe.

I am so proud.

And did I mention that I'm graduated?

xoxo

m

Best Ever Plain Jane Chocolate Cake

from The Gourmet Cookbook

3 ounces fine-quality semisweet chocolate such as Callebaut
1 1/2 cups hot brewed coffee
3 cups sugar
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups unsweetened cocoa powder (not Dutch process)
2 teaspoons baking soda
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
3 large eggs
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups well-shaken buttermilk
3/4 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 300°F. and grease pans. Line bottoms with rounds of wax paper and grease paper.

Finely chop chocolate and in a bowl combine with hot coffee. Let mixture stand, stirring occasionally, until chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth.

Into a large bowl sift together sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. In another large bowl with an electric mixer beat eggs until thickened slightly and lemon colored (about 3 minutes with a standing mixer or 5 minutes with a hand-held mixer). Slowly add oil, buttermilk, vanilla, and melted chocolate mixture to eggs, beating until combined well. Add sugar mixture and beat on medium speed until just combined well.

Divide batter between pans and bake in middle of oven until a tester inserted in center comes out clean, 1 hour to 1 hour and 10 minutes.

Cool layers completely in pans on racks. Run a thin knife around edges of pans and invert layers onto racks. Carefully remove wax paper and cool layers completely. Cake layers may be made 1 day ahead and kept, wrapped well in plastic wrap, at room temperature.

Go-to Chocolate Frosting

from Allrecipes.com

1 cup butter, softened

4 1/2 cups confectioners sugar

1 1/4 cups baking cocoa

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup milk

In a large mixing bowl, cream butter. Gradually beat in confectioners sugar, cocoa and vanilla. Add enough milk until frosting reaches spreading consistency.

Macaroni and Cheese

When I was little this was my ideal meal:

hopefully followed by:

The glory of those meals, was extremely rare. My parents have always been healthy to the point of obnoxiousness, and rarely was I fed anything that wasn't homemade. But those times that I got MAC 'N CHEESE...

Oh my. I was a happy camper.

Now unfortunately, MAC 'N CHEESE from a box doesn't thrill me to my core.* Please enjoy your cheap thrills while you've got them.

Anyways, the point is, since those days, I've never eaten much macaroni and cheese. (BTW I really don't like the phrase MAC 'N CHEESE. It's obnoxious.) Sure, we've made occasional home made baked pastas that are called Macaroni and Cheese, but none of them have ever had that luscious cheesy quality that I've always longed for.

Until this:

(My camera got steamy.)

Can you say "amen?" Can you say, "I believe in Cheesus?"

Beloveds, this is THE ORIGINAL MAC 'N CHEESE. Only better, because it FEEDS YOUR SOUL.

xoxo

m

*Dude. It's crazy how your tastes change. Also on my list of things I no longer enjoy:

Gummi Bears.

Skittles.

Most juices from little boxes.

Cereal.

Macaroni and Cheese

from The Gourmet Cookbook

This is really, really, really good, so please don't complain about the amount of cheese/cream/calorie. It's good for you. Note: I used an white Irish Cheddar, which is probably different than whatever you're going to use. I also went easy on the red pepper flakes. Finally, I ignored most of the topping ideas, and instead simply sprinkled some walnut bread crumbs. I loved the crunch. The sprinkle of bread crumbs add just that much more finesse, and really why would you want to cover the crunchiness with more cheese?

Also, eat this with your family and a salad.

For the Topping:

1/4 stick (2 tablespoons) unsalted butter, melted

2 cups panko (japanese bread crumbs, because you know, you just have this stuff on hand) OR coarse bread crumbs

1 cup coarsely grated extra sharp cheddar (about 4 ounces)

For Cheese Sauce and Macaroni:

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes

2 3/4 cups whole milk

3/4 cup heavy cream

4 cups coarsely grated extra-sharp Cheddar (about a pound)

2 teaspoons Dijon mustard

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

3/4 pound elbow macaroni

Put a rack in middle of oven and preheat oven to 400 F. Butter a3-quart shallow baking dish.

Make the topping:

Stir together butter, panko/breadcrumbs and cheese in a bowl until well combined.

Make the sauce;

Melt butter in a 5-quart heavy pot over moderately low heat. Whisk in flour and red pepper flakes and cook, whisking, for 3 minutes to make a roux. (If you don't know what a roux is, don't worry, just stir it until it looks smooth.) Whisk in milk in a slow stream, then bring the sauce to a boil, whisking constantly. Simmer, whisking occasionally, for 3 minutes. Stir in cream, Cheddar, mustard, salt and pepper. Remove pot from heat and cover the surface of sauce with wax paper to prevent a skin from forming.

Cook the macaroni and assemble the dish: Cook macaroni in a 6 quart pot of boiling salted water (1 tablespoon of salt for every quart of water) until al dente. Reserve 1 cup pasta cooking water and drain macaroni. Stir together macaroni, reserved cooking water and drain macaroni. Stir together macaroni, reserved cooking water, and sauce in a large bowl, then transfer to baking dish, (mixture will be loose).

Sprinkle topping evenly over macaroni. Bake until top is golden and bubblin, 25 to 35 minutes.

Eat with a salad.

Chocolate-Dipped Fruit Nut Balls

Hi.

I've missed you.

It's been a while.

Don't worry. I still love you. The holidaze have flown by, and here I am. January 1st. A fresh start. A new year.

A clean year. 2010 was so full, hard, and insanely busy. I'm not complaing, but I'm glad it's over. I'm ready for 2011.

So many good things are going to happen. I can just feel it.

I don't know where I'll be a year from now, and I'm starting to be okay with that. Being young and preparing for college or the next stage of your life or whatever is coming next, is strange. You feel like you're living in a sort of netherworld limbo. Which is unpleasant, sometimes, but it's also okay.

Lately, when I've looked at myself in the mirror I think, "I look different than I did last year." Perhaps it's only my imagination, supposing that my face looks different, but I really do feel that I've changed. Or something in me has changed. And that is very good.

I've decided that 2011 is the year of the prune.

Prunes. I love prunes. LOVE. Ordinary people make faces when you say "prune" they screw up their eyes and make retching noises. And that's because most people only experience prunes as prune juice, which is totally disgusting, and which normal people only drink when constipated. I too hate prune juice, but I especially hate it, because it has nothing to do with the wonderful reality of prunes. Prunes can be blissful. You should not eat prunes that are completely dry and leathery, you should only eat prunes that are plump and moist and sticky.

Prunes are in these strange fruit/chocolate/alien/nut/tasty/cookies. The recipe calls them Chocolate-Dipped Fruit Nut Balls, which is an apt, but rather grody name. You should make these and eat them and dream up some brilliant name in the middle of the night and then have me over, and I can polish off the rest of the fruit/chocolate/alien/nut/tasty/cookies.

They are also VEGAN and HEALTY, because they are simply DRIED FRUITS (i.e. prunes) and NUTS and CHOCOLATE. They are light and sophisticated and rich and luxerious. Did I mention there are prunes in them?

Happy New Year!

xoxo

m

Chocolate-Dipped Fruit-Nut Balls
from Orangette.blogspot.com who was inspired by Gourmet, March 1986

Also, they improve with time. They are so devine.

1 cup walnuts
½ lb dried cherries
½ lb dried Turkish figs
½ lb dried apricots
½ lb dried pitted prunes
1-2 Tbs fruit juice, such as good apple cider, or fruit-flavored liqueur
Powdered sugar, for dredging
8 ounces good-quality semi-sweet chocolate, coarsely chopped

Place the walnuts in the bowl of a food processor fitted with a steel blade, and process them to chop finely. Remove the walnuts to a large mixing bowl.

Rinse the bowl of food processor, wipe it dry, and fill it with the dried fruit. Pulse the machine to chop the fruit finely. You don’t want to turn the fruit into a gummy purée, but you do want it to be chopped finely enough that there are no pieces larger than a pea. Remove the fruit to the bowl with the walnuts, and stir them to mix. Add 1 Tbs fruit juice or liqueur, and stir to combine. Pinch off a smallish wad of the fruit-nut mixture: when you roll it between your palms, does it hold together in a tight ball? If not, add a bit more juice or liqueur until it does.

Pour about ½ cup of powdered sugar into a small bowl; you can add more later, if needed. Pinching off little mounds of the fruit-nut mixture, shape them into 1-inch balls, roll each ball lightly in powdered sugar to coat, and place them on a baking sheet. Let the balls stand at room temperature, uncovered, for 24 hours.

Line a second baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat, and keep it close at hand. In the top of a double boiler set over barely simmering water, melt the chocolate, stirring occasionally, until smooth. Remove it from the heat. Using a teaspoon, plop and dab and shake chocolate onto half of each ball; you may want to do this over the sink, wasteful though it may be, rather than over the bowl of chocolate—otherwise your melted chocolate may be contaminated by sprinkles of powdered sugar. Place the balls on the lined baking sheet, and place them in the refrigerator until the chocolate has hardened. Tuck each ball into a small candy or cupcake cup, and store them in an airtight container, chilled, for up to 2 weeks.

Yield: About 50 balls.

Roasted Tomato Soup

I've been sick, and I feel like shit.

It's wrong that anyone should be ill at this gorgeous time of year, in this gorgeous city.

But--

I defy convention.

The point is, I made some special soup yesterday. Soup for the soul. Because my soul needs a lot of comforting when it doesn't feel good.

Tomato soup is gorgeous. Ideally it is eaten with a blisteringly hot, grilled cheese sandwich. (When I was little I thought that grilled cheese was actually girl cheese. I also thought that cheese burgers were pronounced cheese boogers. But that's probably more than you wanted to know.) Of course, because I wanted a grilled cheese, we had no bread, so I simply ate the soup with some shredded Guyere. And for dessert ate a pear.

And then, I still felt sick, but also, comforted. Which is really the whole reason for ever eating soup in the first place.

Roasted Tomato Soup

from Gourmet Today

Note: The recipe says to strain the tomatoes, which I really don't have time for, so I just when ahead and pureed them.

4 pounds tomatos, halved lenghtwise

6 garlic cloves, left unpeeled

3 tablespoons olive oil

salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 medium onion, finely chopped

1/2 teaspoon dried organo, crumbled

2 teaspoons sugar

3 cups chicken stock or store-bought reduced-sodium broth OR vegetable broth

1/2 cup heavy cream

Put a rack in middle oven and preheat oven to 350 F. Arrange tomatoes cut side up in one layer on a large baking sheet. Scatter garlic around tomatoes. Drizzle tomatoes with oil and sprinkle with 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper.

Roast until tomatoes are browned around edges but still juicy, about 1 hour. Cool in pan on a rack then peel garlic. Melt butter in a 6-to 8-quart heavy pot over moderately low heat. Add onion, oregano, and sugar and cook, stirring frequently until onion is softened, about 5 minutes. Ad tomatoes, garlic and stock, bring to a simmer, and simmer covered, for 20 minutes to allow flavors to blend.

Puree soup in batcches in a blender (use caution when blending hot liquids), then pour througha fine-mesh sieve into cleaned pot, pressing on solids;discard solids. Stir in cream and salt and pepper to taste and simmer for 2 minutes. Serve, preferably with a grilled cheese sandwich.

Baked Butter-Pecan French Toast with Blueberry Syrup

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who love breakfast.

And those who don't.

I was anti-breakfast for most of my childhood.

Unless it involved doughnuts.

You see, I was an egg-hater for a very, very long time. I just couldn't abide eggs. The way they smelled. Or the way they looked or the way they tasted or that weird silky smooth gross texture. For years, I would not, could not eat eggs.

And then one day, not too long ago I overcame my ovaphobia.

Everyday, for the past week, I have eaten an egg for lunch. (Protein!) So miracles really do happen.

Anyway, my egg loathing often made breakfast a contentious issue.

Once I was reduced to eating spaghetti at a brunch.

Not that my ten year old self minded.

But breakfast is an intensely personal meal.

It has to be just so.

That's why I resisted for so long. When going out for breakfast I was always dissatisfied, the pancakes were never as good as they were at home, the doughnuts never as delicious, the syrup fake, the orange juice from concentrate... I'll stop before you go jump off a very tall building. This is just getting worse and worse:

The troubles of living in a wealthy first-world country! When will the suffering end?

Anyway, the real point of the rambling is that I have Come Around To Breakfast If It Is Done Right.

As part of my, "It's for the blog," experimination tactic, I made my favorite cousin drive me to the grocery store at 10 p.m. the night before just so I could make it.

THE CONSENSUS ON THE FIRST BAKED FRENCH TOAST I EVER BAKED:

There are two kinds of people in the world: people who like bread pudding and people who don't.

My family split squarly down the middle when it came to a rating for this Baked Butter-Pecan French Toast and Blueberry Syrup dish . Sure, they all ATE it, but that doesn't neccesaily mean they approved.

My little brother Michael, heartily approved. Michael loves bread pudding. He liked this a lot. He had a second helping. He gives it a **** 1/2 asterick approval rating.

My mom liked it, but ate only one portion, because it was very "filling". I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. She thought it was good, but found the blueberry syrup overwhelming, and preferred it simply with fresh blueberries and syrup. ****

My littler brother, Jacob, after completely finishing his portion, and practically licking his plate, decided that he didn't like it. I honestly don't even pretend to understand the way his mind works sometime **1/2?

My dad ate it, and, like Jacob, told me, after finishing, that he didn't particularily care for it. He told me he didn't like the texture very much. He doesn't like "breakfasty casserole things." He also doesn't like bread pudding. **

Me?

I had mixed feelings.

I liked it. And I didn't mind eating it. I really liked the pieces around the edge of the pan, which were crisper and more crackly, it was a party in my mouth. I found the blueberry syrup delicious, but thought that it overwhelmed the delicate flavor of the actual french toast. Like my dad, I thought that it was on the unappealing mushy side. And here's the killer. I didn't think the toast without syrup was very attractive. I like food to be pretty. And it just wasn't. *** 1/2

This is not a ringing endorsement of a recipe. But I'm being honest. It was good, but simply one of those things that you either love or despise, or are like me, simply lukewarm about. Give it a go, comment, reflect, tell me about your morning eating experiences, share, kiss, commend, recommend. I'd love to hear your adventures with French Toast.

Baked Butter-Pecan French Toast with Blueberry Syrup

from Gourmet Today

1 (24-inch-long) baguette

6 large eggs

2 cups whole milk

1 cup packed light brown sugar

1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 stick (4 tablespoons) unsalted butter

1/4 salt

1/2 cup heavy cream

1 cup pecans lightly toasted at 350 F for about 5 minutes or until deliciously fragrant

For Syrup

1 cup blueberries

1/2 pure maple syrup

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

Make the French Toast: Generously butter a 13x9 inch baking dish. Cut twenty 1-inch-thick slices from baguette and arrange in one layer in baking dish.

Whisk toether eggs, milk, 3/4 cup brown sugar, nutmeg and vanilla in a large bowl until well combined and pour evenly over bread. Let bread soak for 10 minutes. Turn slices and cover surface with a large sheet of plastic wrap, leaving a 3-inch overhang on each end of baking dish. If necessary place a smaller dish on top to keep bread submerged. Refrigerate mixture until all liquid is absorbed, at least 8 hours.

Put rack in middle of oven and preheat oven to 350 F.

Combine butter, remaining 1/4 cup brown sugar, salt, and cream in a small saucepan and bring just to a boil, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Stir in pecans.

Spoon pecan mixture evenly over bread. Bake until bread is puffed, edges are lightly browned and liquid is absorbed, 40 to 45 minutes.

Meanwhile make syrup: Combine blueberries and maple syrup in a small saucepan and cook over moderate heat until berries burst, about 3 minutes. Stir in lemon juice.

Serve toast with syrup.

Consume. Form lengthy, wordy opinion. Post on internet. Realize that you really spend more time than is healthy thinking about breakfast issues. See therapist.