Carrot Cake

Dear One, 

I haven’t been sleeping very well for the past few days. 

I’m anxious about what’s going to happen. 

Whatever it is that's coming next. 

The unexpectedness of life is overwhelming. 

Helen Mirren told Esquire Magazine that “The hardest period in life is one’s twenties. It’s a shame because you’re your most gorgeous, and you’re physically in peak condition. But it’s actually when you’re most insecure and full of self-doubt. When you don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s frightening.”

So I don’t know what’s going to happen. 

And it’s got me a little frightened. 

But it’s ok. 

It’s really ok. 

I keep thinking about the past couple of years. 

And all these strangers who have become friends. 

And then I think about all the strangers I don’t know yet, who will someday be beloved. 

And all the things that have happened I could never have predicted. 

It’s overwhelming. 

But it’s been ok. 

Magical, even. 

For instance. 

This blog is five years old.
Five. Years. Old. 

And I only just realized. 

I never dreamed that it would last this long.
So I baked to carrot cake to celebrate. 

And on another note-- how the fuck did carrot cake happen? 

I mean, who decided to put carrots in a cake?
What a perfect example of something so surprisingly and unexpectedly dreamy. 

So for all the unanticipated collisions of wonder and pain and delight I have yet to have, for all the future stranger/friends I have yet to meet, for all the cakes I’ve yet to bake. 

I can’t wait. 

I really can’t wait. 

XOXO

m 

Carrot Cake

from Stir-Ups

This is actually an heirloom recipe from an Oklahoman cookbook called Stir-Ups. From the 60's maybe? I don't know. It's really, truly grand and very, very simple.  And very, very worth your time. 

xo

For Cake:

2 cups flour

2 cups sugar

2 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons cinnamon

4 eggs

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup canola oil

3 cups shredded carrot

1 teaspoon vanilla

For Icing:

1 stick butter

8 ounces (1 package) cream cheese, softened

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 box powdered sugar*

best quality maple syrup, to taste

Combine flour, sugar, soda, cinnamon, salt and oil. Beat in carrots and vanilla. Beat in eggs. Pour into two greatsed 9" cake pans, or a 9x13 inch loaf pan. Bake 9" ones at 350F for 30 minutes. Bake 1 hour when using loaf pan. Cool completely.

Icing: Cream butter with cream cheese. Add sugar, vanilla and several tablespoons maple syrup to taste. Beat until well blended. Slather cake. Eat. Immediately.

Blueberry Picnic Cake

Dear Beloveds, 

I believe in going out to lunch: it’s more casual than dinner, not too long, not too short, and it’s nice. 

Lunch is always nice. 

Over lunch is the best way to talk to people. 

And I love talking to people. 

So the locations are always changing, the people are always changing. 

But the interesting thing is that the talk rarely does: It’s always love or god or family or school or work or the future or the past or what-should-I-order. The characters and situations might change, but the bewilderment never really does. 
And I don’t know if this changes with adulthood/time-- but so many people my age talk about loneliness. 

They are lonely on the insides. 

Lonely on the outsides. 

And there are people in your phone but frequently it feels like all the communication done and information garnered via facebook doesn’t translate into the real world.

All so lonely. 

So I don’t know who you are. 

Maybe I don’t even know you. 

But please know this. 

I get lonely. 

Maybe you do too. 

So call someone. 

Or sit in the sun till the ache inside gets a little better. 

Or bake this cake. Just because it is good. 

And know, that somehow, someone, somewhere, is maybe thinking about you. 
And wishing you only the sweet things. 

I’m only wishing you sweet things. 

xoxo

m 

p.s. I will be traveling for a while with poor internet access and no kitchen. So we'll probably speak again late August. Love love love. 
p.p.s. This is yet another blueberry cake recipe. I'm not sorry. 



Blueberry Picnic Cake

My cousin Claire told me to make this from our family cookbook. She was not kidding when she said it was worth my time. Claire is pretty rad. So is this cake. And with a smudge of ice cream: heaven.  xo


4 eggs, separated
1/2 cup sugar

1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 1/2 cups flour 
2 teaspoons baking powder
2/3 cup milk 

2 pints fresh blueberries, washed, dried and dusted with 1/2 cup flour
2 tablespoons sugar

Grease 13x9x3 inch baking pan. 
In a medium bowl, beat egg whites until stiff. Gradually add 1/2 cup of the sugar and beat until well-blended. 
In a large bowl, cream butter until fluffy. Add salt and vanilla. Gradually add 1 1/2 cups sugar and beat until blended. 
Add egg yolks and beat until light and creamy. Add 2 1/2 cups of the flour, baking powder and milk. Mix throughly. Fold in the reserved beaten egg whites. 
Gently fold the blueberries into the batter. Spread evenly in prepared ban. Sprinkle with remaining 2 tablespoons sugar. 
Bake for 50-60 minutes, or until cake begins to pull away from sides of pan and wooden pick inserted into center comes out clean. 

German Chocolate Cake

There was a pair of artists. They were called Christo and Jeanne Claude.

They were known for making tremendous art installations all over the world.

They swathed an entire island in pink fabric.

For several weeks they transformed Central Park into a series of fluttering saffron colored gates.

They wrapped the Reichstag, the German Parliment, in aluminum fabric.

This is all very impressive.

But even more interesting to me, is that the first time they kissed, the kiss was so passionate that Christo chipped a tooth.

Chipped a tooth. 

This is so hard for me to comprehend or even understand.

Tooth chipping passion.

They were hungry for each other. 

I've been thinking a lot about the idea of being a hungry person. 

Hungry for love. 

Hungry for touch. 

Hungry to be noticed. 

Hungry to dance. 

Hungry for cake. 

Because life is so short. 

It is so 

heartbreakingly 

short. 

I mean, the other day my brother told me that if every human life span is about 50 years, then basically all of recorded human history would fit into 100 lifetimes. 

I mean. 

What. 

So I want to have my cake and eat it too, and I just want to be so completely involved and PRESENT in NOW. 

My friend Connor and I talked about this. That when you realize that the present is all there is, that even the next breath you take is uncertain, then you are free to truly LIVE your life. 

Which is the best argument to eat cake instead of salad and get a tattoo and cut your own bangs that I have ever heard. 

So Christo and Jeanne Claude swathed an entire island in pink fabric.

And transformed Central Park into a series of fluttering saffron colored gates. 

And the first time they kissed, their first kiss was so passionate that Christo chipped a tooth.

They were so hungry to live in the present. 

They ate their cake. 

There is not the slightest doubt in my mind, that if they had this cake they would probably have eaten the entire thing. Because it really is that good. 

XOXO

m 

German Chocolate Cake

This recipe is from a family cookbook someone gave to my mother many years ago. The format of the recipe is kind of unusual, (I didn't feel like rewriting it) so I recommend reading through it a couple times before starting. All the ingredients are italicized. Making the cake is pretty simple, and highly rewarding. As I suggested in the obnoxious post above. 

Preheat oven to 350 F. 

Grease and flour two 9 inch round cake pans. 

Microwave below in large microwavable cup or bowl for 1 1/2 minutes until chocolate begins to melt (stir half-way through.) Stop and stir when it boils up on sides of bowl or cup during the microwaving. 

1/2 cup water

1 package (4 oz. bar) Baker's German's Sweet Chocolate

Let rest five minutes, then stir until all chocolate dissolves. 

Sift together in another bowl 

2 1/4 cup sifted flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

set aside. 

In another bowl, cream until light and fluffy:

1 cup soft butter (2 sticks)

2 cups sugar

Add ONE at a time:

4 egg yolks

Beat well after each addition. 

NOw add and mix in the chocolate mixture lightly. Along with 

1 teaspoon vanilla

Add, alternating flour and buttermilk:

Flour mixture you made 

1 cup buttermilk

Alternate with about 1/3 flour, 1/2 buttermilk, 1/3 flour, 1/2 buttermilk and finally the rest of the flour. 

In another clean bowl, beat at high speed until stiff peaks form:

4 egg whites. 

Fold the whites gently into the batter. Pour into prepared pans. 

Bake at 350 F for 30 minutes or until cake springs back when gently touched. (Toothpick test doesn't work.) Cool for 15 minutes. Remove from pans, and cool completely before frosting. 

Coconut-Pecan Frosting

Mix together in a large saucepan 

1 can evaporated milk (12 oz)

1 1/2 cups sugar

1/2 cup butter (1 stick) 

4 egg yolks, slightly beaten

1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Cook and stir on medium heat for about 12 minutes, or until thickened and golden brown. Remove from heat and stir in:

4 to 7 ounces ounces Angel Flake Coconut or whatever sweetened shredded coconut your heart desires

1 1/2 cups chopped pecans

Cool to spreading consistency. Frost cake. 

New York City, I want to hold your hand.

New York City. I love you. 

If I could be your lover I would. 
I would take your hands in my hands. 
And I just wouldn't let go. 

Because only in precious Queens will perfect boys take you to eat Indian/Chinese food in restaurants with disco balls. And to eat Thai food in gardens. The train to get there is so long. 


And only in Brooklyn will you go to random Hawaiian themed parties, and talk to boys with sad eyes, while eating sugary frozen pie from the Momofuku Milk Bar at 3am. Or go to Roberta's pizza with Olivia, 



and eat green covered pizzas, and poppy seeded gelato that tastes like sparkles. 



Or make your way through a cheese plate with a kind stranger/friend who tells you that she has "never fallen in love slowly." And get drunk on nice beer and brazilian music in your friend's basement kitchen. 



Because only in Manhattan will you eat dollar slices of pizza, and cheeseburgers and drink stella and talk about where it is you are/aren't, and get lost in plates of cold spicy noodles, and soup dumplings, and puerto rican ham sandwiches and perogies and cups of coffee and mango lassi, and drink more beer and eat two kinds of cheesecake in one sitting, and just love it all. 



However, there are no breakfast tacos in New York. 
So I'm back in Texas. 
So full, and also so hungry. 
A friend once told me, that maybe it's love when "you want to hold someone's hands, but they are already holding yours." 



New York City, you held my hand before I even tried to reach out. 

So blessed and so grateful. 




*****

Artichoke Basille's Pizza
328 E 14th St
New York, NY(212) 228-2004

Mission Chinese Food
154 Orchard St  New York, NY 10002
(212) 529-8800

La Taza de Oro

96 8th Ave  New York, NY 10011 (212) 243-9946

Roberta's
261 Moore St  Brooklyn, NY 11206
(718) 417-1118

Xian Foods
67 Bayard Street
New York, NY 10013 

SriPraPhai 
64-13 39th Ave
Woodside, NY(718) 899-9599

The Corner Bistro
331 W 4th St  New York, NY 10014
(212) 242-9502

Veniero's Italian Bakery

342 E 11th St  New York, NY 10003 (212) 674-7070 Caracas Arepa Bar 93 1/2 E 7th St  New York, NY 10003 (212) 529-2314 Diner 85 Broadway Williamsburg, Brooklyn 11249 Smourgasburg East River State Park (90 Kent Ave at N. 7 St) Blue Ribbon Sushi119 Sullivan St New York (212) 343-0404 Madman Espresso319  E 14th St  New York, NY 10003 (212) 505-2233 Velselka 144 2nd Ave New York, NY 10003 (212) 228-9682 BaoHaus238 E 14th St  New York, NY 10003(646) 669-8889 The Gray Dog90 University Pl New York, NY(212) 414-4739 Station166 N 7th St  Brooklyn, NY 11211(718) 599-1596

i'm still here.

Darling.

I haven't forgotten you.
I'm just trying to figure out the right things to tell you.

Just so you know.

Just so you know I haven't forgotten you.

I wanted to say:

I'm here. I think about you. I love you a little bit.

But not now.
I'm not ready to write to you.
Not yet.
Not quite yet.

XOXO

m